Thursday, April 5, 2012

Racing Old Tim SUCKS!


I hate racing this guy!
Lately I've been obsessed over my new Garmin Edge 800. There are many layers to this device and I am not an electronics guy, but I've been doing my best to figure it all out. I've been racing the little man who lives inside the unit, but I thought I'd take it up a notch. I recorded my commute home recently on a pretty hard effort. Shortly after recording that ride I looked into having that Tim contact the little man living in the gps and ask him to step aside for a couple days. The unnamed dude said, "Sure, have at it". So, the stage was set. "Old Tim would race, Current Tim". Little did I know an epic battle was about to unfold on the remote gravel and bike paths of western Duluth.

Last night when the work day was done I hit "Go" on the device and "Old Tim" and "Current Tim" rolled out of the employer's driveway in what can only be called a controlled start. 45 minutes later, I'd be shouting out, "What's with this guy (Old Tim) ?!" I'd pour on some more coals, building up to a minute lead on him so I could relax for just a bit, but as soon as I did, he'd come back and snatch the lead again. WTF?! I began to get very angry with "Old Tim", I even began to call him extremely unpleasant names. This back and forth battle waged on, but it appeared I was out climbing him, but he was descending like a maniac - Who was this guy?

2 miles from home I was going flat out down the scenic gem of Duluth, Mn - Skyline Parkway - which overlooks the city. Tourists gawked at me as I careened past them on the verge of losing not only control, but my sanity. Intensely focused on the device mounted to my handlebars I could not lose! I buried myself up the final climb to my driveway, almost crashing into my garage from dizziness. My vision cleared and I looked to the unit to see the words:

COURSE COMPLETE
YOU WIN


A smile crept across my face. I hurried into the house to tell my wife, Amy all about my epic battle. I ranted on about "Old Tim" and how I hate him and how fast he was and how hard I had to try to beat him and ... I ended with, "But, I did it! I beat him by 17 seconds!!" She looked up at me confused, but empathetic, and simply said..."Old Tim's a %@#&"


These are the days of my life....


2 comments:

Buff said...

'Old Tim' put me in the hurt too, sounds like New Tim will as well.

I bet Jorge is lonely.

Anonymous said...

So, which one is coming to the Ragnarok?